Perspective

Pity parties are my specialty. Really. I have perfected the art of throwing pity parties. Mine are always filled with excessive eating, endless tears, and a sole guest of ME. In the midst of my infamous pity parties, the world revolves around me and me alone ... the things I don't have, the things that I regret, the things that hurt me. In the midst of my dramatic and ridiculous pity parties, I actually convince myself that things could not get any worse and that my life is the worst it could be.

Cue the wake-up call from God...

Sunday night, my parents and I had dinner with some friends from church and, they all started talking about the families in their sunday school class who were fighting cancer or dying from cancer. My heart was breaking, and despite the fact that I don't know any of these people, I found myself fighting tears. Here I am during this holiday season spending this break with two healthy and amazing parents and planning family Christmas with ALL of my wonderful family around me, and there are families who are spending this Christmas in a hospital, maybe praying this isn't the last Christmas they have with their loved one. There is so much hurt, loss, and pain in this world ... FAR, FAR beyond what is going on in my life. So what if I'm single and may never get married? Great, wonderful, fabulous, glorious! Who cares? I have my health, my family, my dreams, my life. I have it all.

I needed that perspective. Life isn't going to always go exactly how I want or expect it to, and I would never want it to. I want the life God has for me EVEN IF it is to be single forever, because if God can use me best as a single then I would never want to be anything else. Praise God that he reminds me how blessed I am to have exactly what I have.

Later that night as my mom and I walked through walmart, I just couldn't stop thinking about how immature I have reacted to my state of singleness and how I have completely blown it out of proportion. I looked at her and said, how can I consider my state of singleness as anything other than a blessing as compared to those who are truly experiencing trials and struggles in this life.

WOW. Thank God for new perspective.

Learning to love,
Jenna