The signs are unclear.
The signals are mixed.
The rules are fuzzy.
The lines are blurred.
The system is broken.
But I'm not talking about the government, healthcare, or any other popular opinion of our modern day society. I'm talking about our world which is filled with sin and darkness and corruption.
But really I'm talking about the impossible standards placed on single Christians {especially females since I can only vouch for my friends and myself} in the dating game in their twenties to thirties {more specifically those past the college years where new relationships go to die}. Forgive the dramatics but I'm attempting to make a point. I'm constantly mentally exhausted by the barrage of well-meaning articles telling me "don't be too this" and "make sure to be that" BUT "do not ever be this" and "only be that". I cannot even keep up with what I am expected to be. Who could with all these ever-changing perceptions of what we have to be to attract a like-minded single Christian?
If I'm losing you in my somewhat long winded psycho babble, allow me to give you examples.
Example one. Don't throw yourself at guys. Okay, check. I can refrain from doing that. Hmm ... Not so hard. But then.
Example two. Don't hide yourself away. Make yourself known. You can't expect a guy to notice you unless you give him a little encouragement. Oh brother. Now I'm in trouble. Not my forte.
Example three. Wait on God's timing. Oh okay. Well, easy enough. I like this one. But wait.
Example four. Sign up for christianmingle.com TODAY. Dont wait. God's match for you is waiting behind door number one. Or was that door number two. Uh oh. There's a door number three.
Example five. Don't be needy. GREAT! I got this one down. I will be independent and prove that I am strong. BUT.
Example six. Don't be too independent. If you're too independent, a guy will never feel needed by you. Oh ... Well, that stinks.
Example seven. Set your standards high. Oh check, check, and check. Tall, dark, and handsome, right? Wrong.
Example eight. Don't set your standards so high that you miss the "perfect" guy who just so happens to be a pale, 4 foot tall boy {only kidding}. Throw your laundry list to the wind, girls.
Example nine. Run your race with your eyes fixed on Jesus. Okay, got it. Now this I can do.
Example ten. But don't forget to look both ways while you're running for Mr. Right. Wait what? I thought I was supposed to keep my eyes on Jesus.
Example eleven. Surround yourself with good, Christian guys who have the same passion for God that you do ... Does going to a primarily women's university for 6 years count?
Example twelve. When you can view every guy as a brother in Christ instead of a potential husband, you are good as gold. Okay ... Not check.
I know I'm stretching some intentions and slightly dramatizing the points to make them more clear, but really this is how I feel. I feel overwhelmed and bombarded by so many different standards for what I'm doing right or horribly wrong. Let's face it ... If it is left up to me, I'm going to fail. royally. I know that, and more importantly, God knows that. Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for people who have taken the time to share their expertise or opinion about these things which I have no life experience in, but at some point, something has got to give.
Last two examples.
Example thirteen. Be content in your relationship with God and God alone. God will give you a husband when you are content with being single. Okay, so check ... Now what?
Example fourteen. I got nothing else ... I'm too distracted by the baloney I typed above. Cue soapbox.
Please read this very carefully. For those of you amazing girls who got married between the ages of 16-22, God bless you. I am so inconceivably happy for you. It blesses my heart to see what God is doing in your life and how He will use your marriage to glorify Him if you allow it to. I believe with every fiber of my being that your calling in life to be married is valid and beautiful and meaningful and special. But what I am asking of you is to pay those who aren't married by 22 the same respect that you have been given. Please don't invalidate our walk with the Lord because it doesn't look like yours. And Lord, help us, insinuating that the reason we're not happily married is because we're not content with God or being single will only serve to hurt and to damage the hearts of your dear sisters. It's just not okay to assume that the reason I'm not married by 25 is that a)I've done something wrong, b)God is punishing me, or c)my relationship with God is not good enough.
Let's be clear about something, the past three years of my life have been the most challenging and thriving time in my walk than I've experienced in all my quarter of a century life. Marriage or no marriage, God and I are on great terms, and I trust Him with all that I am. My calling in life is not less or insignificant because it does not currently involve a husband. I'm running my race and you'll have to forgive me but I'm not gonna play by anyone's rules {except for God's, that is} ... Even if it is a sure-fire way to get me married.
I want Jesus more. I want Him more than I want money. love. contentment. acceptance. security. worth. value. husband.
Because I already have all these things in Jesus. He satisfies the deepest longings of my soul. I want for nothing. I have everything in Him.
Learning to be the Light,
Jenna
P.S. All the beautiful prints of Bible verses were created by Shannon and you can find those here on her blog. I'm so thankful that she made these available as reminders of our great God.