Can we just talk about for a second that Rachel's first recorded words in the Bible are this // Genesis 30:1 // "Give me children, or I'll die!" Now you'll not find any judgement here, because I seem to remember a 21 year old Jenna saying something similar about a boyfriend/husband to God.
I'm gonna use my writing liberties to joke about the thought of Rachel in heaven with God asking him if it was really necessary for those to be her first recorded words for all Christians to read for all earthly time. I can just hear her saying to God // Really? Of all the things I said? That's what you picked to use?
It just makes me laugh thinking about it. Rachel was in a bad place. This man whom she loved, Jacob, had been deceitfully given to her sister, Leah, in marriage first despite his profession of love and commitment of marriage to Rachel. Not only that, despite Jacob's overwhelming preference and favoritism toward her, she was overcome by jealousy, hurt, and shame when Leah was able to give Jacob children but she could not.
Rachel was stuck in a waiting place. There are a couple things that we as women seem to really get bent out of shape on {and by "bent out of shape" I just mean pity parties, struggles, discontentment, frustration, hurt, etc ... all valid emotions and feelings about such intimately personal areas of our lives}. And that is marriage and babies. From the beginning of creation when God created Adam and Eve, we have felt as women that our sole purpose seems to be marriage and babies. I'm not getting into gender roles and all that mess, but I can tell you that since I was a small child, I have felt an intrinsic pull toward marriage and children. Strangely, I felt uniquely created for that purpose.
However, I believe God created us to fulfill those purposes in different ways even possibly through just spiritual avenues. I know without a doubt that our worth and value are not directly correlated to our marriage status or ability to have children. We are children of God, and He ordained our steps before one of them came to be. I believe that I can still fulfill my potential as a woman without those things. It is fully up to God how He wants to use my life. He does not make mistakes.
I think Rachel felt this pull though. This intrinsic need to give her husband children. So much so she proclaimed she would die if she didn't. What do we all know to be true? Would she literally die if God did not give her children? No, of course not. But in that waiting place, the pain, frustration, confusion, and hurt were overtaking her ability to see God for who He is and how He works.
And then finally // Genesis 30:22 // Then God remembered Rachel; he listened to her and opened her womb.
I can't sit here and say that God is going to answer my prayers for a husband and family in the way that I want, but I can say with full confidence that God will answer my prayers with His best for me. Through writing this entire post, I keep telling God that this is too deep and I'm not doing it justice, but He just keeps telling me to write.
I know many women who have felt fulfilled through spiritual children just as much as those with physical/biological children. I know that God created us as relational beings who need others. Although marriage is usually our answer to that, I know God can and will fulfill that need in our lives with people without giving us marriage. There have been many moments in my singleness when precious families have taken me in and made me feel more loved and complete than many women ever feel in their marriages.
Both singleness and marriage are important and valuable parts to play in God's greater story. Neither is greater than the other and neither is less. Both can be God's best. So we wait. We wait for God's best to play out in our lives, because we trust Him. Even in the waiting.
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{This blog post is a part of a series called Redeeming the Waiting Place for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you're interested, the Write31Days challenge is being taken by hundreds and hundreds of other wonderful bloggers which you can read more of right here. My personal favorite is browsing all the inspirational and Godly women who are blogging under the Inspiration & Faith tab which you can check out as well right here.}