If I picked one word to describe myself, it most definitely would not be still. Or silent. Or restful. Or tranquil. Or peaceful. Or any other synonym for still.
I'm not even gonna list the antonyms, because it does not paint me as a pretty picture. I'm always pretty transparent with what a hot mess I am. No point in hiding it.
I won't bore you with more details of how (un)still my life is. Not only am I a little fearful of being still, but I also have quite the aversion to the idea. Being still for me is something that brings with it emotion, thoughts, and analyzing. So much. If I'm still, everything feels wide open.
But I think that's what God is trying to teach me. Being wide open. Letting down my guard and letting God take all of me.
That happened tonight. Wasn't quite expecting for God to give me a lesson in being still so soon into the New Year, but He did.
Worshiping with my church family tonight at Level Ground, I felt it. The stillness. The music playing. The words speaking to my heart. It was clear to me.
Peace enveloped me. It overtook every fear, anxiety, worry. All of it. God knew exactly what I needed. He knew I needed Him. Not any person or any thing. Him.
It's gonna take me being still to fight off these things every day. Being still before the Lord. In whatever way I can find. Especially when the enemy is attacking. When the enemy is trying to get me to doubt God's character and subtly morph my view of God, something's gotta give.
And my answer. Be still. Be still before the Lord. That's a hard concept for me. But I'm trusting the Lord is gonna show me those moments to just stop. And be still.