Do I trust Him? This is what a lot of my issues boil down to. Do I wholeheartedly, fully, and totally trust Him? The “good girl” in me says yes. But the side of me that hates wearing a mask and faking perfection says maybe most of the time. In significant moments of peril, isn’t that really what it all comes down to?
When everything I had planned for my life was shattered into a million pieces, it caused me to re-evaluate. It made me wonder what on earth am I doing wrong. Who is this God that I am supposed to be trusting with my life? I’ve known and served God for the significant majority of my life, yet here I was standing in rubble. Rubble of a relationship, friendships, dreams, expectations, and life. Everything I thought to be the plan, down the drain.
“Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord himself, is the Rock eternal. ”
I read verses like this one. And I stop. I know the truth. I believe the truth. But how do I practically apply this truth to my broken life? How do I lean on this eternal Rock who says He will never let me fall?
“This is what the Lord says:
’Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.’
But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit. ”
Let’s be honest with each other. We don’t trust people. We know the world we live in and the people who surround us. Hurt people hurt people. So once again just like we compare God’s love to the love we know through humans, we do the same with trust. We assume if people who love us can hurt us and cannot be trusted, how on earth could we trust God who we can’t even see?
“This is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance. That is why we labor and strive, because we have put our hope in the living God, who is the Savior of all people, and especially of those who believe. ”
God is God. He’s not human. He is trustworthy. He will never fail us. He keeps His promises.
And once again, I’m right back in the same place. I have faith. Even when I can’t see, I know. I just know. I have moments where the enemy sabotages me and pushes my buttons. Because he knows the exact buttons to push in order to get me in that dark place. That place of lies where I think I can trust no one. But that is exactly that. A lie.
I have to stand on truth. It’s all because of hope. Hope in a God who loves His children. Not only to save us from our sins and imminent death but also to use our lives for His glory no matter what. We can trust God. We can trust that He will always do the very best for us as long as we understand that His best will always line up with kingdom values not the world’s.
So I speak this over my heart and mind tonight. I can trust God. I will trust God. God is trustworthy.
♥︎Jenna
This blog post is a part of a series called Rediscovering God for the Write31Days challenge to write every day in October. You can find links to all posts in my series here. If you want to know more about the Write31Days challenge, you can find out more at www.write31days.com.