I have. I can think of multiple occasions where I have made a decision with full assurance that I am doing the right thing. And what's more actually doing the thing I believed God had called me to do.
But as per the norm for me in my 20s, that peace, confidence, and assurance were quickly sabotaged by an overwhelming sense of dread, fear, and doubt.
What if I was wrong? What if I closed the a door I wasn't supposed to? What if I made a mistake?
But time goes on. You get up each day and keep assuring yourself in the decision and trusting in God's promises and peace.
Eventually you forget. There's no more doubt, fear, dread. Those things disappear and the situation basically moves on into your long term memory {yes, I watched Inside Out last weekend. And yes, it has really gotten into my head}.
I say all of this to say that in the moment, it can be hard. Incredibly hard. Hard to let go. Hard to keep going. Hard to forget. Hard to feel assured in the midst of doubts. Hard to know whether your decision was the right one or not.
But you will forget. You will keep going. God does not make mistakes. God will not lead you astray.
How do I know? I know because I've lived it. I know because looking back, I can pinpoint God's hand at work in my life in each of those moments.
I've been reminded of one of those moments lately. It was a decision that I made with overwhelming conviction and peace from God over 2 years ago. In the moment, I knew what I was doing was God's leading, but it barely took 24 hours for me to start doubting, questioning, and a good ole fashioned Jenna freak out.
However, God brought me through. Reassured me through His Word, through prayer, through good friends, and wise mentors.
And now. Now I'm thankful. 2 years later. And I'm thankful. I see the bigger picture now. I see the Lord was protecting me. I see it for what it was. A learning experience. A stepping stone. A small piece of the puzzle.
It gives me hope for recent decisions I've made. It is so easy and natural for me to let doubt creep in and take away my peace, but I have to trust God and remember that not only is He in control but He is also a good, good Father who only knows how to give good gifts. My top priority for now is to let the past be the past and trust God for each step in the future.
Y'all, He is so good. I cannot say it enough.
I needed this reminder. I am moving forward. Letting the past be the past. And trusting God for the future.